I am Addicted to this and it's Likely you are too!
I am addicted to this big hard thing in my pants. I can’t help but pull it out every few minutes and play with it. No matter how many times I try to control myself and exercise my will power over this addiction - I always lose. Despite the fact that in the interim it feels like a win.
Instant pleasure.
I am of course talking about my phone.
But you knew that right?
I am addicted to my phone.
Are you?
Well I suppose that’s subjective. How many hours on your phone a day constitutes addiction? Do you use your phone for work or personal pleasure? Are you using it to read, listen to podcasts and learn? Do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through Social Media feeds waiting for the bottom to manifest itself?
These are all valid questions to ask yourself and if you are anything like me and the average owner of a smartphone you may have fallen victim to the destructive habits caused by our phones.
It is important to remember that our phones are a tool. A tool to be used instead of the tool using us.
The moment I realized the addictive impact phones were having on us I will never forget because it infected my mother and the affected was me.
For years my mother had given us the parental talk of “Get off your phones. You are talking to me now. Let’s have a conversation.” or “you are always on your phone.” And for years I tried to deflect this banter as I moved up levels in Brick Breaker back in the Blackberry days. It wasn’t until a few years later when my mother now with an arsenal of technology herself, had an iPhone and iPad now to her disposal, started changing her tune.
We were at a family party and if you don’t know anything about my family and I yet, well, we like to connect at our gatherings. Talk, laugh, cry, whatever. My mother, uncharacteristically, arrived at the party and after a few minutes sat down quietly at the couch, took out her phone and started playing “Candy Crush” for at least 10 minutes as I looked at her in disbelief!
“Who is this woman I call mom!?”
When I saw the addictive nature phones could have on baby boomers, I knew we were in for some mess.
Here are 5 things you can do to improve the relationship you have with your phone and become less dependent.
Have set away times from your phone - particularly early morning and at night when you are winding down for bedtime. You don’t need the last thing you see before you go to sleep be a video on Instagram of a cat flying into a closed window. Or maybe you do…
Know your phone use metrics & adjust behavior to reflect your goals. This takes a great deal of self discipline but you can use tools like iPhone’s ‘limits’ feature which allows you set limits for yourself on social media and will lock up the apps once your limit is up. Which brings me to my next point you can also
Minimize your notifications!! Implement this and it will solve a lot of your issues. Every time you pick up your phone because of a notification that came in you are saying YES to your phone and NO to whatever you were just focusing on in your life. This may seem trivial and not a big deal but your level of productivity is enhanced only by the amount of focus you can place on a task. If you are being interrupted by a notification every time Groupon has a Brunch special in your area or someone likes your two week old Instagram picture you will find that your productivity will suffer tremendously.
Use your phone….as a phone! - This may seem obvious but how often do we have time consuming text messaging conversations over an easy task. If possible, pick up the phone and call the person. It will be more efficient and it will strengthen your relationship with that individual. All phone calls do not have to be long. In fact, a quick call could be just as meaningful as an extensive one. As a general rule, make an effort to call people more often. As human beings we crave connection and calling those you care about more often vs. texting them all the time will fulfill that need.
Be Present, it’s a gift - You’ve been at work all day and so has your partner who picks you up from work. You get in the car and after a few pleasantries you jump back on your phone as you are driven home. Really? Really. I’ve seen it happen and I’ve been guilty of it myself. I’ve gone to dinner with friends and found myself on my phone most of the time communicating with others who were NOT present and being half-heartedly a part of interesting dialogue at the table only to realize afterwards how rude I was for doing that. I’ve made it a point to alter that behavior only after becoming self aware of how present I was in my interactions with people. As of late I have connected with multiple friends in person with minimal use of my phone. A couple times we actually forgot about them and didn’t even share our rare meet up with social media --imagine that!
There was a time, not too long ago, when I was growing up in which ‘Dinner time’ was sacred and in my home along with many of friends’ homes that meant no phone calls, TV, etc. Some traditions should never be broken.
I am not trying to be a Smartphone Sergeant but I am suggesting you be more self aware of how you are using your phone and how it is or isn’t controlling your time. Our phones serve a great purpose in our lives to make it easier but as technology progresses we will need to be more and more self disciplined to make sure we don’t lose our will power, our productivity and therefore the sight and accomplishment of our goals.
Your Local Office Max Cashier,
Felipe