11 Tips to Consider When Moving to a New City
If you want to do it, do it. Here’s how
Moving from one house to another in the same city can be a daunting and overwhelming task that none of us enjoy. Now consider moving from one city to another and the level of complexity multiplies for most of us; but it doesn’t have to.
I recently made such a move and would like to share with you 11 simple tips to consider when moving to a new city.
Your Decision needs to be Decisive.
Let’s start from the very beginning. Moving to another city begins with a single thought before it even becomes a reality. and you need to do your best to protect your thoughts. This is for your own personal interest so that your decision isn’t swayed by people protecting their own.
Whether you are relocating because of work, family or personal pleasure you need to be 100% committed to your decision. Be prepared for some people in your life to not respond in a supportive manner despite the fact that this move will allow you to grow as a person and pursue your goals. You will have people very close to you, who you love and respect very much, that will tell you everything great about the city you are currently in and everything bad about where you are going.
Understand that this is a reflection of their own fear; fear of losing you as an important element in their daily lives and their own fear of taking a similar ‘risk’ out of their comfort zone. Remember, this isn’t a reflection of you or the quality of decision you are making.
Also, your move will require logistical planning and often times that means it will take months or even years for your move to take place. Keeping this in mind try to limit the people you actually inform about your plans unless it's necessary or you can anticipate their support. Avoid naysayers, harness positive energy and most importantly – protect your plans.
2. Stack your Shekels, Expenses are on the Horizon
Moving in general is expensive. You are buying packing materials like boxes and tape, disconnecting utilities and resetting them up elsewhere, security deposits and movers. Even if your uncle Herbert and your cousin Jimmy help you move to avoid the costs of movers, the right thing to do is to buy them pizzas and beer and people get thirsty after an exhausting move. My point is that these little costs add up quickly and there’s even more of these when you move to a new city.
Depending on where you are moving you could see an increase in monthly expenses like car insurance, income and sales taxes, groceries and gas.
A 60-cent per gallon increase for gas might not seem significant but over a month’s time that adds up to over $30 that could’ve gone towards your internet bill, gym membership or just your savings account.
Then there’s the expense of traveling with your belongings. Once you arrive you will certainly invest in at least some new furniture and in stocking your new home with all the essentials like kitchen & cleaning supplies, toiletries, and all the condiments and basics needed to stock your refrigerator and pantry.
If you are moving out of state prepare for the minor expense of eventually registering your car in the new state along with obtaining a new state ID & DL.
When you arrive in your new home city will you want to stay home during your spare time and look out the window?
Of course not!
You will have a natural desire to go out and explore the city, its neighborhoods, local pubs and restaurants. You will also find ways to entertain yourself and this will all cost you money. So just prepare yourself.
Many financial experts will say as a rule of thumb that you should to have at least six months of emergency savings. I don’t disagree, I think the more you have in savings the better.
However, having only a few months of reserves shouldn’t deter you from making a move.
There are a lot of variables to consider such as are you moving with a job already lined up or are you getting to the city looking for one? What are your current monthly obligations? What skill sets are you bringing to the new city?
Often times it's not a lack of resources that stops us from taking action, but a lack of resourcefulness. We have an incredible ability to adapt to new environments and thrive. Nevertheless, save your money and prepare for added expenses when you move.
3. Shed the Weight! Great Opportunity to De-clutter
Did you know that the average American home has 300,000 items in it?
Well according to the LA Times, this is our crazy modern reality. So when you are moving to a new city are you going to transport all 300,000 items with you? Wow, I really hope not and yet many people do. I’m not pointing fingers though I was once a member of such a movement of ‘things’.
When I was 11 my father, mother, sister and dog Ginger made the collective decision to move from Chicago to Colombia, South America, a healthy distance of 2,700 miles. One of my mother’s demands was to be able to bring whatever she wanted including her Tupperware, clothes, furniture, etc. My father, the leader of this family voyage and ecstatic about finally persuading my mom to make the move after years of trying agreed to all her terms. The end result was us moving with about 55 boxes, 30 big cardboard cylinder drums and hundreds of pounds of furniture including my parents bedroom set. It took us an entire year to pack!
Truth be told, once we had arrived it did make our transition a bit easier. Since we had so much of our stuff we didn’t really need anything but a new home to put everything in. Ultimately though, did the effort and cost to move everything equal the reward? I don’t think so.
The proof was that five years later when we decided to move right back into that house in Chicago; did we pack up all our belongings like in our previous move?
Absolutely not.
My parents had learned a valuable lesson: The majority of things can and should be replaced. Travel light.
So if you are planning on moving strongly consider traveling as light as possible. Moving is a perfect time to audit your material possessions and slim the fat. Do you really need three staplers? Should you take those old shoes and jeans to another city even though you haven’t worn them in 10 months?
Travel light, you will thank me later.
4. Visit the City Beforehand
There are circumstances where this might not be an option like an immediate job relocation or a sick family member needing immediate attention, but for the most part you should consider this a must. A simple weekend getaway should suffice to give you a good idea of the city.
Every city has its own energy, personality and character. Your job is to see if you can resonate with it. It's no mystery why you feel better in certain places and out of place in others, sometimes you just vibe with it and other times you don’t.
When you visit the city, whether it’s your first time or not, approach the trip with a lens of new resident not of a tourist. Yet talk to residents like you are a tourist. Find out the hot neighborhoods, things to do, great places to eat. You want to be looking for a neighborhood that will fit your needs and lifestyle. We all have varying goals when it comes to a living arrangement so make a list of your absolute needs and wants for not just the condo or house you will live in but the neighborhood as well. Do you need to be near a park? Is easy access to the main freeway necessary? Would you prefer to be in a hip young urban type of neighborhood? Make your list of prospective neighborhood and consult with a local realtor in that new city when you get back home. The realtor can give you valuable guidance and help find you your new home.
5. Establish Friendships, reconnect with old acquaintances beforehand.
Wherever you are going to live you need friends and acquaintances. As my friend Brian Bowman simply stated once, “Everybody needs friends.” It is the reason human beings evolved thousands of years ago, to work together and form civilizations in which we all commit to certain tasks that help one another and, therefore, society as a whole.
Go live in a location you deem to be your ultimate paradise, live there without friends or deep human interactions for six months and I promise you will go a little crazy and not have as a good time as you expected.
So here are a few things you can do to avoid finding yourself on the friendless list.
Use your existing network to make connections in your new city – Do you have old high school or college friends you were close to at some point but life happened and you stopped talking. It so happens that they are still one of your hundreds of friends on Facebook and they happen to live in that city? (Wow. Long sentence)
Great, reach out to them and find a way to reconnect with them on a personal, human level. Tell them your plans of moving to said city and ask them for tips/advice. Perhaps once you have moved you can reconnect over coffee. This simple action can pay massive dividends for you long term. Perhaps reconnecting can result in a strong friendship again? What if these friends can provide a connection or an introduction to a key contact in your new city? Even if it's just conversation with someone you already know about the city you don’t; it’s a win.
You might say, “But Felipe I don’t have old friends in my network living in the city I’m moving to.”
Ok, no problem luckily for you there are so many other ways to do it. Apps like Tinder and Bumble now do not only offer the option to link up with someone romantically but also on a friend basis. Bumble calls it ‘Bumble BFF’ where you can go on the app, swipe and hand select your new best friend before you go on a friend date. Sounds funny right? Well, it is, but it seems to work. I’ve actually met people here in LA who have done this and have made great friends because of it.
Ideally live with this principle, “Build your network before you need it.” I did this by accident truthfully and that’s how I arrived to a strange city with more than a handful of good friends.
I started going to business and entrepreneur conferences a couple years before I moved. These were predominantly in the Southern California (SoCal) area. When I first went to these I knew no one, but as time passed I established strong relationships with those I resonated with. You can do this too with conferences and interests of your choice.
Most of us live life making friends with only those we are supposed to be friends with. Such as, those we grew up with in our neighborhood, our high school or careers. But the truth is we can expand beyond that and be intentional in our friend search by designing the type of people we want in our life as well.
At the end of the day:
“Your network is your net worth.”
6. New City, New You.
If you decided to move to a new city it’s because in one way or another you were receptive to change in your life. Don’t let the scenery be the only thing that changes. Give yourself permission to reinvent yourself. You can keep your identity and your character while raising your personal standards.
What are some things you always wanted to do in your personal life but haven’t?
Did you always want to join a beach volleyball league? Join it. Perhaps you always wanted to take guitar lessons, now is the time. Unless you moved to a new city to become a workaholic, odds are you will have lots of free time to indulge in your hobby of preference.
Hobbies aren’t the only thing you have the opportunity of incorporating into your new life though, so are your habits. This is a great time to decide to approach life differently as well by the way you think, you use your time and the way you live in a matter that is more satisfactory to your soul. Why go through the whole hassle of moving to just be exactly the same? Growth is key.
Don’t be ‘apples to apples’, Be ‘Apples to another fruit with better texture, more juice and a later expiration date.’
7. Where you spend your time and energy is who you will become.
Many of you might be familiar with the phrase, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” coined by the famous self help and motivational speaker Jim Rohn. His philosophy was that if you spend most of your time with five drug addicts soon you will be the sixth and similarly if you spend most of your time with millionaires soon (hopefully) you will be the sixth.
My belief is that this doesn’t just apply to the people you spend time with, but also the environment that surrounds you.
Where you spend your time and energy is ultimately who you will become and attract.
There are dozens of coffee shops near our house that sell a cup of coffee for $2 and others that sell it for $5 or more. I prefer to go to $5 coffee shops as often as I can. Not because I love paying more, not because the wifi is better (huge plus) but I have found that the person who is attracted to a $5 coffee also seems to have more exquisite taste. I have found that the person who likes $5 coffee also seems to like rich books and is worldlier in their travels. Personally, I like to meet people like that so I make the effort to manipulate my destiny and put the odds in my favor even if its slightly to possibly meet more people that will enrich my life.
Who I may want to meet or surround myself with may not be the same for you; so ask yourself who do you want to surround yourself with? Brainstorm where you can find them and go there.
I want to be clear, though paying more doesn’t always mean a more favorable positive environment, it’s just one factor to consider when choosing where to spend your time.
How you spend your days, will determine how you spend your weeks. How you spend your weeks will determine how you spend your months. How you spend your months is how you will spend your life. So be wise and intentional in where you spend your time and energy.
8. Prepare yourself mentally for hardships
You are moving to a new city away from everything you know to be familiar. In your home city, you are somebody. In your new city you are neither a resident nor a visitor at first. It’s cumbersome.
In fact, moving away from everything that is comfortable and known to you doesn’t make much rational sense so there will be moments when you are in your new city that you will ask yourself, “Why did I come here again? Life would’ve been easier if I had stayed back home.”
When this happens, snap yourself out of that funk and remind yourself that that’s your demon voice talking. Then remind yourself why you did come to this new city.
Do not let the worse days take away from you the best days ahead. Obstacles, moments of doubt and frustration lie ahead. Prepare yourself for these moments especially throughout the first 12 months following your move.
9. Don’t sweat the little things
Flat tires getting replaced by a friend nearby, going to your parents for your apartment spare key because you lost your set or having an old friend help you move that Ikea furniture, you immediately regret buying are all things you may take for granted now, In a new city you realize those are luxuries; but do not worry.
We are more adaptable than we give ourselves credit. Our most basic human instinct is survival and so you will survive whether it’s in your home city or your new one.
Once you have the basic needs like your housing and job situation figured out everything else will fall into place.
Do not worry that you don’t know the city’s streets, highways or public transportation routes – you will learn these with time just be patient with yourself. Besides, your phone always has a GPS guiding you towards your destination.
(As a quick tip though some cities have geographical landmarks that are good points of reference directionally. For example, in Chicago the lake is always east which is helpful to know when your phone is lost or has no battery. In Los Angeles, the ocean is always west. In Miami, water is everywhere, good luck.)
Do not worry about leaving your doctor, mechanic, dentist, etc. Although you may not be able to replace the relationships you’ve built with some of these individuals you will be able to replace their skills for the most part.
Be patient and attack one little challenge at a time.
10. Work on your elevator pitch
Whether you think you have everything figured out when you move or you are still working on it you will need a strong elevator type pitch to support you and your recent move.
It is likely that you will find yourself in unfamiliar environments such as work parties, new friends house get-togethers and meeting people in general in other social settings. When you are asked why you moved what will you say?
If you’re real reason for moving was because you wanted to get away from your mother-in-law, well, I suggest you hold back from spitting that out at first. It may not make the best first impression (though probably a juicy story).
So craft up an abbreviated story as to why you moved that touches on key points there will be plenty of time to gossip later once you actually become friends.
A good pitch might sound something like this:
“The desert temperature has always been enjoyable for me and I was getting tired of the Midwest winters so when my wife found out she could have a job transfer to Arizona we started to look into it more seriously. The more research we did the more it made sense with a good value on property, low state taxes and phenomenal schools for the kids. It also doesn’t hurt that I can golf year round.”
A statement like this expresses a lot of your priorities while also putting many topics of conversation on the table for you to discuss with your new acquaintances. It helps keep the conversation flowing and you aren’t throwing anyone under the bus, like your mother-in-law.
The more you use your pitch, the better you will get at delivering it in a succinct, coherent manner. Also keep in mind your pitch should vary depending on who you are talking to.
11. Have a clear vision for the next 12 months.
“Where there is no vision, the people perish…” - Proverbs 29:18
Have clear expectations on what you hope to accomplish in your first year. The first year will likely be the toughest personally with so many things to adjust to but with a clear vision on your goals you will be able to regain focus in those foggy moments of doubt and uncertainty I talked about in tip #8.
Also keep in mind that you may not accomplish all of your goals as planned and that’s alright. You might just have to adjust your timeline goals altogether. Allow yourself to be flexible with your vision as you begin to get more clarity about what you truly want to accomplish.
Bonus tip: Don’t forget your roots.
Being physically distant from your hometown might give you the strange illusion at times that your family and friends from back home are all part of a past life since you are on this new journey building a new life but do not allow that to happen. Remember that there are people where you were raised that care about you very much and keep fond memories of you and you of them. These people, whether they be family or friends are forever linked with your life story. Stay connected with them, call them from time to time and support their endeavors.
I have found that it can be easy to stay busy in your new life in a new city and lose track of days or weeks even. A simple way to keep your family top of mind is putting up a couple pictures of your family around your place where you can see them daily and trigger your subconscious mind. Another idea is setting up reminders on your phone to call them. Do what works for you but just don’t forget where you came from and who you physically left there. Ultimately we are who we are thanks to those who came before us.
In summary, any change we make like a new job, career or house can be overwhelming and moving to a new city is no different. We must just remember to be adaptable and open-minded. The only constant in life is change so embrace it.
Successfully moving to a new city requires a strong mindset and a good strategy. I hope these tips helped some of you with future plans of moving. For those of you who have moved already to another city, what are some tips that you would add to this list?
Your Golf Caddy,
Felipe
(This blog post was originally published in March of 2019 and reposted due to the redesign of the site)