An Unintended Result: On Set of a Reality Show

“Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me"
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"

song ‘Piano Man’ by Billy Joel.

Coming out to the west coast from my familiar and comfortable Chicago upbringing I had grand visions, exciting goals to pursue. One of them was to rekindle my love for acting. I had dropped that dream 12 years ago or so after a short run doing community theatre, student films and a few extra roles. As I got older I realized my bills also got larger and those theatre role checks, well, let’s just say there weren’t any of those. So begrudgingly I got into sales; first cars, then banking, then real estate and a whole bunch of others in between. The way I rationalized it was when I was in the heat of it with a client trying to get a sale, I was acting. I was putting up a hell of a performance to get them to buy my product or like me (so they could eventually buy). That wasn’t as satisfying after a while though so I followed my true north and came out to Los Angeles. Hollywood, where I really wanted to be. Gotta scratch that itch you know? I mean, let’s see what this place is really all about. 

As I arrive to Los Angeles I know my previous paths to monetary gains are out of the question. So I think to myself what is the path of a typical rags to riches actor? What would be a great addition to this life, this story of yours? 

Ah, I know! Become a bartender or a waiter! 

Genius!

I quickly eliminated waiter as a possibility. I was a waiter for Baker’s Square once when I was nineteen for a couple of weeks until I unceremoniously was fired. There were many reasons for this let me be clear but probably the most glaring was that I could never learn how to hold that damn drink tray. It’s harder than it looks I promise you. 

I once brought out a drink order for a mother and her two boys. I had the three drinks balanced perfectly on the tray like an upside down tripod, I then took the mom’s drink and placed it in front of her, then the oldest boys drink except when I did this, the six year old boys drink, a tall icy glass of mountain dew, fell all over him with the tray Leaving him drenched, sticky and crying. 

No kind of apology of mine could ever remedy that type of damage. Till this day I don’t know who’s more traumatized by that event: me or the six year old boy. 

Which makes me wonder, he must be applying for colleges right about now. 

Anyways, so by process of elimination, bartender it was. I signed up for Bartending school and studied the greatest to ever do it by watching Tom Cruise in “Cocktail” on repeat. Also, Elizabeth Shue was and still is a great muse. 

Weeks had gone by and I had done a few gigs bartending events with the school’s ‘Event Staffing Division’ (wow that’s far to proper). The Head Manager of the office had gotten to know and like me. 

I don’t know how to explain this but I wasn’t the ‘typical’ bartending student in LA. She looked at my resume and then at me confused, “you managed a bank and you want to bartend?”

“Yea why not….so how do I make a margarita again?” 

She comes up to me one day and says, “Hey, there’s this gig it's for a tv show, they are looking for young, good looking guys.”

Inner voice: “and you are talking to me why?”

Her: “Are you available these dates you might be on TV…?”

“Hell yes I am.” 

I walk out of there on cloud nine talking to myself. 

“This is it kid. Less than 90 days in LA and you are already getting your big break. Do some pushups you are about to get discovered. This is how it happens!! Watch out universe… here I co..”

Let me save you the suspense in advance: I WAS NOT DISCOVERED. 

I did however, discover something pretty cool and here’s that story..

I cannot tell you the name of the show because they made me sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA). Actually, maybe I can tell you. Truth be told, I don’t even know what I can or can’t tell you because I never received a copy of the NDA so there has to be some law protecting me there. Right?

The point is, it's a dating show where one person starts off with a couple dozen options and at the end they pick their favorite option. The end. You’ve seen and/or heard of this show, trust me.

As I arrive on set, I am super excited not because I may be on TV or even because I like reality TV but just because I was on set. If you are a doctor or nurse you may get excited being in an operating room or an athlete gets excited being in the locker room or on the field. An actor gets excited being on set, feeling that energy. 

Once I got acquainted with where the free food and coffee stations were and all the other proper protocols I did what I liked to do best as a bartender: Make friends and observe the interactions of the environment I’m in. 

I did this for nearly two weeks straight as the cast bartender. 

There were over 20 contestants from all over the country in one giant home with one definite goal: to find love. 

But only one could win, so in a sense they were each other’s competition. 

Wouldn’t that be strange? To live in the same house with the guys that are also dating the girl you’re dating and ultimately want? 

The things we do for love ah? 

It’s sweet and sour, like a good cocktail. Speaking of cocktails I got to know the guys pretty well since they would come by the bar and order up some drinks. Generally, with me, they would hang out and talk to me for a few minutes. Sometimes we would talk for so long that the producers would have to swing by and take them away. I couldn’t be asked to leave because the bar was my office but after a while I got looks and warnings from the producers. 

Things like: 

“Don’t talk to the cast that much” 

“If they talk to you, don’t engage them in conversation.”

“Give them the drink and keep them moving.” 

They didn’t have this problem with the other bartenders because most of the time they would just make the ordered drink ‘half-assed’, deliver it and go back to their iphones or something. 

(They did have other problems though. In the two week time I was on the job, three bartenders from the staffing company I worked with got fired from that job for a variety of reasons. I was one of the few who made it through till the end. See! When there’s no waiter tray I’m a pretty decent worker.)

I was never that type of bartender though. I watched ‘Cocktail’ on repeat, remember? I’m like the bartender you think of when you listen to the song “Piano Man” by Billy Joel. It’s more than just a transaction for me you know? Let’s connect. Tell me about your life. How are you doing? How can I help? Are you enjoying this one of a kind experience? I smell empanadas inside, are there any left man?

(Geez, I really need to find out who my target demographic is with this post because if you’re 25 you’re wondering what ‘Cocktail’ or Billy Joel is all about. If you’re 40 your humming ‘Piano Man’ in your head and if your 60, well if your 60 you are following along well but you are trying to find the cursor with your mouse on your windows 2000 Desktop Computer.)

So, inevitably I’m getting to know these guys better as they are tucked away in this gorgeous artificial world. I’m getting to know their personalities, their drink orders, how TV business works, well sort of. 

You know, I have to mention this, it was a really good group of guys. A wide range of personalities for sure but everyone was really respectful with me, with each other, the crew, etc. In today’s era, where a lot of people are really entitled that’s rare so I really appreciated that about the group. Which made the fact that they were isolated from the world easier I would think. 

From what I could tell (and was told) they didn’t have access to their phones, the internet, computers, TV, even music was off limits because they were mic'd 24/7 and that interfered with the sound. 

I know. I know. 

You are wondering… Well, What did they do then? Unless you are 60 then you are thinking, “that sounds grand.”

Well, when they didn’t have a date or event to get ready for. They hung out like normal people. There was a nice pool to help pass the time. Along with great weather to go for runs or workout outside, a personal  favorite. A gorgeous kitchen to do daily cook offs with. Plenty of couches and areas to relax and read or write and their own personal bartender (as I clear my throat.) 

I saw these guys over a two week span exchange favorite stories, create new personal memories, share food and drinks, laughs and more laughs. They became bros and I don’t know if they realized it then. In fact, I’m not sure I fully did. 

We can all think back on that one unforgettable year in summer camp where we made friends that have lasted us a lifetime. 

Okay, I’ll be the first to raise my hand and say that I never went to a summer camp and part of me feels neglected and left out for that reason. Yea its okay I know most of you feel the same way. Who goes to summer camp?? 

But you know what I mean! We have all had unique experiences that has brought us closer to people we hardly knew, even strangers. That one year you went on a class trip, a bachelor or bachelorette party, a sports team you were a part of in school, etc. 

We treasure those moments and sometimes the people in those moments become part of our personal treasure. 

That experience of me being a cast bartender for two weeks up in the green hills of Los Angeles County happened a year ago and thanks to social media I’ve been able to stay connected with nearly all the guys. It’s been incredible seeing all of their post-show success and for the most part they have remained unchanged from what I can see. 

That giant house doesn’t hold them together and isolated as it once did but the bond they created there has. Many of them have even become best friends it looks like. 

When I first linked up with some of them online they said, “Felipe, you are a legend” or “you are legendary.” referring to all the laughs we had on set and I was honored by such words. 

Humanly connecting in a digitally connected world is a rare thing. In the last year though seeing them genuinely stay connected -- that is legendary. 

They went to this house looking for love and walked out with an unintentionally manufactured fraternity. Legends. 

Cheers to that!

Your Cast Bartender, 

Felipe 

(This blog post was originally published in March of 2019 and has been reposted due to a redesign of the site)